“Gray divorce” is another modern tragedy. It is a recent phenomenon involving a rise in divorces among people who are approaching retirement age. Many people welcome it as an escape from a confining or unfulfilling marriage once the kids are grown up.

While listening to an NPR podcast discussing gray divorce, I expected pushback from another perspective. But no such thing. An echo chamber of affirmation just let everyone settle deeper into their own point of view. The true answer to gray divorce is Christian marriage, because Christian couples are able to gain back satisfaction in their marriage by trusting God more deeply.

Gray divorce offers a way out of unfulfilling marriages, but there is a better way: marriage between two Christians means that each person in the marriage is being convicted of sin separately. Each person should be growing more understanding and pure-hearted toward the other as they grow. Christians don’t need a way out; even if they are dissatisfied for a while, Christians generally find a place of reconciliation and forgiveness.

Gray divorce also promises self-discovery, but Christianity allows infinite self-discovery as we probe the depths of God’s self. Scripture is our mirror, and self-knowledge and growth happen no matter what our circumstances. No matter how small our circumstances seem, God himself gives us our satisfaction and our growth.

A gospel foundation is needed in order to break the power of sin that binds and blinds us to our old patterns. Even if our spouse never changes, even if the struggles of our marriages are real, if we turn to God through the knowledge of what Christ did for us, we can always find fulfillment and always find the growth that some people think only happens in purely self-seeking settings.