Psalm 88 was my first ever sermon. It was the Summer of 2018, and I was taking intensive Hebrew, notorious for making Seminary student’s question their calling (or even sanity). And what came at the end of taking Hebrew II? My first preaching experience at Hope. It was nerve-wrecking; I was jittery the entire Sunday morning, but God certainly used that experience, even though I may have felt like a hot mess. In fact, if I had to pick a favorite Psalm, maybe even portion of the Bible, Psalm 88 wins every time.
Now, perhaps you’ve never read this song before. Perhaps you are well-read in Bible trivia and you already know it. Either way, if you have a moment, go read it right now—seriously. I’ll wait.
After reading this psalm, you’re probably experiencing a jarring sensation: “Did I just actually just read the Bible?” or more likely “Why in the world is this Jonathan’s number one Psalm?” The psalmist feels basically dead (v. 3-5), explicitly says God is the one who did this (v. 6-9), and questions whether there’s even an afterlife (v. 10-12). This passage ends with the writer rejected by God and abandoned by his friends, and his final words? “Darkness is my only friend” (v.18). You cannot find a more melancholic portion of Scripture.
I spent most of my high school reading Fredrich Nietzsche, Albert Camus, and Fyodor Dostoevsky. My favorite authors are Ernest Hemingway, Kurt Vonnegut, and Gustave Flaubert. If you know these people, you can quickly peg my personality. Also worth noting, although it may at first feel disconnected from this: most of my adult life, I’ve struggled over serious problems with mental health. And please don’t read that as “Jonathan feels kind of blue once and a while”; it’s more like I regularly need to find professional help from a licensed counselor.
While I’ve been a Christian, Psalm 88 has often been my cathartic release. Often, these words have been my own words, even while seeking to follow Jesus Christ; and if you’re willing to be honest, I’d hazard to guess that you have too, whether regularly or for a season. So why is this Psalm in the Bible?
Sometimes, we can have a rosy picture of life, nothing goes wrong and everything is awesome. Yet Psalm 88 not only flies in the face of that paradigm but also throws all of us into the grime of daily life, when we get the diagnosis from our doctor, when we have the divorce papers we must sign, when we have lost whatever we hold dear in life. And for some, our natural reaction may be to escape with Jack Daniel’s or some form of narcotics, and that’s only the extreme reactions. It might be as mundane as junk food, exercise, YouTube, Netflix, and so on, and so on, and so on.
We may desire to shake our fists at the heavens and the Lord Almighty Himself, and honestly, that may be exactly what we need for help. Notice that although the psalmist’ life and future is absolutely abysmal, he at least knows the direction to scream (v.1-2, 13). Christianity does not bring us into a care-free life. You will face darkness, you will face hardship, and you will suffer.
And for some reading this, you may feel that that Psalm 88 is your worldview: darkness is my only companion; I don’t see a point in life; I don’t have hope for the future. In fact, you may even use stronger language than my characterization. I know I have. May I just say as one who needs it desperately, it’s okay to find help, and to one degree or another, everyone can benefit from professional counseling. Don’t let feelings of self-worth or your own darkness in life prevent you from talking with someone.
Finally, know that some of Jesus’ own final words were “My God, My God why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46). Jesus is the Savior who would likely be the chief singer of Psalm 88. He experienced the greatest form of suffering, darkness, abandonment, and wrath at the Cross. And that is chiefly why he wants you to call out to Him, because He gets it.
Psalm 88 is in the Bible because of the reality of life. We will face suffering, we will feel abandoned, and we will feel as if God Himself has set His sights on us. Despite all of this, know that sometimes the best way to process these experiences is to let it out, whether to God or to someone. That’s okay. If you are not currently facing any of this, consider how you yourself would react if you knew someone facing these struggles.
Finally, know that even in the company of darkness, he doesn’t have to be your only friend. You can find an authentic relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ; and in that relationship, you can yell and scream, kick your feet, shake your fists, cry, and do whatever fits that category. And you know what? He’s not going to just toss you aside like broken toy; he’s going to continue to mold you into His own image. Sometimes that process can be painful, but it can be the greatest form of cognitive behavioral therapy.