Time Was Wasting Me

Have you ever looked at your life and felt like you’ve wasted time or effort on things that don’t really matter? I know I have. You might wake up one day and realize that you have been going down the wrong path for years, or decades.

Maybe you got caught up in the rat-race of “success”, or you’ve put off doing what you previously thought was important to pursue something more comfortable. Or maybe you’ve just been trying to do everything right, but it never feels like enough.

I’m writing this because I personally have experienced these things, and I know how it can easily let helplessness creep in. It can bring about feelings of panic, like you haven’t grown as you thought you would; you haven’t been as generous as you thought you’d be, and feel like ultimately, you’re wasting your life. I know a lot of Christians who are facing this type of thing right now.

So, I’d like to share something that helped me:

Some time ago, I saw a video being shared by some friends on Facebook. The video was of famous New Atheist and neuroscientist Sam Harris, talking about how so many people basically waste their lives because they act like they’ll live forever. He says many people “care about the wrong things” when life is good, only to get to the end of life and realize it’s too late. After Sam listed a few more things that he considers to be wasteful of time (like bickering with your spouse or watching a bad movie for the fourth time), he added:

“These things only make sense in light of eternity.”

Now, I won’t comment on the irony of a militant atheist saying such a thing, but I will talk about how his wrong-thinking helped me. I realized that I had forgotten something so fundamental to the faith I claim guides my life.

It wasn’t that I shouldn’t be wasting my time, or that I should start policing my every activity in case it’s wasteful (or feeling guilty for “doing nothing”). I realized the total opposite: how I’d started to believe that I could waste my life. To the point that time itself – or my thoughts about it – had started wasting me.

I realized that the possibility that I could waste time is only true because I exist in the light of eternity.

Sam was actually making a case that eternity does exist, and that it matters. If he truly believed that when you die you cease to exist, then isn’t everything pointless and meaningless? He can pretend like subjective meaning matters, but ultimately even that is pointless. In doing this, Sam maybe doesn’t realize, the fact he believes one can (and even should) live a meaningful life speaks to the eternal source of meaning. If he didn’t believe this, he would just say that everything is folly and blowing after the wind (as King Solomon wrote). In reality, he’d probably say nothing about it. If meaning is fiction, then doing meaningful things is fiction. If that’s true, then why care what you (or others) do with their time?

The only thing that makes sense in light of the finite is not caring at all. It would all be folly. Only we would be incapable of judging it as folly because meaning wouldn’t exist.   

In relation to the Christian, there’s another lesson from Sam. If I believe that it’s possible to waste time, then obviously I believe in meaning. But I also believe in a personal Lord and Savior, who has come to show me how not to waste time. But in addition, I also believe in God’s providence. This means, God uses *everything*, even what I think of as wasteful for His purposes.

Therefore, I should not get too wrapped up in “doing enough” good or feeling guilt about things I think are wasteful. Firstly, isn’t that kind of works? Like if I make all the right decisions – and am morally good (because time-wasting is bad) – then I can earn my way to God’s favor? Secondly, the point is to trust God with our lives.

I’m reminded of when Jesus rebukes Martha in Luke 10:38-42 for focusing on the wrong things:

38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (ESV)

It also brings to mind how God will often lead believers (and even unbelievers) into a “wilderness experience”. During these times, it can feel as if nothing is going well. It may even look like you’re wasting time “caring about the wrong things”.

But God is the Great Potter:

The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: “Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will let you hear[a] my words.” So I went down to the potter's house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter's hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.” Jeremiah 18:1-4 (ESV)

Regardless of whether I totally misunderstood Sam’s point, something still clicked with me. The root of my frustration and helplessness most days had been based on never feeling like I’m fulfilling my day’s purpose, let alone my life’s!

Now, when I shift to thinking in terms of eternity, and specifically to Jesus, I can see all the things I’m freed from. All the things I ought not worry about. I can appreciate all the things I’ve learned, and I see purpose in them. Instead of failures, I see freedom from having to get it all right… because of Whose I am.

Sure, I may suffer doubt about what I’m doing with my life, but those moments need not be weighed down with guilt but given over to God. My life is in His hands and my purpose is to stay close to Truth because I’m being shaped for eternity, so neither time nor worry will have power over it.

If you live in relationship with God, through His son Jesus, you are truly living in light of eternity.

As such, nothing ultimately goes to waste.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:25-34 (ESV)