While no single passage in the Bible can sort out all the complexities of forgiving others, “The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant” in Matthew 18 emphasizes a few key principles. First, it is good to ask God questions. Peter’s question to Jesus (and His answer) acknowledges that we live in a world where people will repeatedly sin against us, and we will be faced with the challenge to forgive them again and again. Jesus’ parable essentially tells Peter that since there is no limit to God’s forgiveness and mercy toward us, there should be no limit in our forgiveness and mercy toward those who wrong us. In answering Peter’s questions, Jesus teaches all of us who are willing to listen. I appreciate and remember clever phrases. In the story of Eli and Samuel, when Samuel finally realizes that God is calling him, he takes Eli’s advice and responds to God, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.” (1 Samuel 3) One pastor used Samuel’s words to make the point that our prayers should be more listening and less talking. Too often we come before God with the attitude, “Listen Lord, for your servant is speaking”; a harsh, but fair assessment.
Second, forgiveness is costly. Since Jesus gave actual values to the debts of the two servants, I find it helpful to know what 100 denarii and 10,000 talents are worth today, even though comparing money across time or between cultures is difficult and disputed. If a denarius was a day’s wages for a laborer, then 100 denarii was about four months wages. If a laborer earns about $30K a year today, that debt was about $10K. There are only a few people in my life who have wronged me, lied about me, or cheated me at a cost $10K or more. Forgiving them did not come easy; or in some cases has not yet come fully. Regarding the debt of 10,000 talents, some believe Jesus used ten thousand to indicate a huge, vast amount; similar to how we might say “a zillion dollars.” I find it helpful to be a bit more precise. A talent can be a weight of a precious metal like gold. While the weight of a talent varied between the Romans, Greek, and Egyptians, 75 pounds is a good average value. The average price of gold in 2022 was about $30K per pound making the value of 10,000 talents of gold equal to about $22 billion dollars. An alternative way to value a talent was 6,000 denarii or about 20 years’ wages for a laborer. Crunching the numbers values 10,000 talents at about $6 billion dollars.
How can the average person accumulate several billion dollars in debt? If I went to a bank asking for a multibillion-dollar loan, the loan officer would still be laughing. The only way I can see being that deeply in debt is if someone gave me something worth many billion dollars to manage or protect, and I ruined it, destroyed it, or squandered it; for example, a business, an enormous estate, or a museum’s collection of artworks. In the parable, the king is settling accounts with his servants. It is a clear analogy for God checking with us to see how we’re doing. When we finally see the vastness of our sin, we realize we have ruined, destroyed, and squandered something of great value to God … our very self. Just as the king in the parable was gracious and merciful to his servant, God is willing to forgive us our sin and bear the cost Himself at the cross. When I think I’m something special, the cross reminds me of how serious and terrible my sin is. When I think I’m worthless, the cross reminds me of how valuable I am to God and how much He loves me.
Third, we are commanded to forgive. I get messed up when I withhold forgiveness until I receive a sincere apology or until I have extracted my “pound of flesh.” Scripture could not be clearer. “Forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3) “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4) My forgiving others must be grounded in what God has already done for me, not in the behavior of anyone who has wronged me. Unforgiveness is a serious sin that displeases God and bring His discipline. We all know the Lord’s Prayer, which includes, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6) I would do well to more frequently remember the next verses, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” In the parable, the other servants noticed how unforgiving and harsh the first servant was. Similarly, the world is watching us. Only Christians who have experienced grace and have received God’s mercy are loved enough to consistently and thoroughly forgive others. We are never more like God than when we forgive. Our forgiveness should make the world wonder how we could be so kind and generous to people who have mistreated us. I need to pray more for God to make me a forgiving person.